Can Someone Talk to God About Adding A Couple More Hours to the Day?

I actually considered deleting this blog altogether since I haven't written on it in months. In fact, you guys have probably given up on me and aren't even checking it any more. So maybe no one will read this, and that's OK.

So a lot has happened since the last post. (And can I apologize for leaving Brad's porn stache up for so long? Sorry!) I guess you guys heard I had a baby. What? You didn't know? Yeah, I mean, it was a piece of cake and has been totally easy since day 1. HAH! RIGHT! In all honesty, this has been the hardest thing I have ever done in my entire life. At the same time, I am really loving it.

Here's the past three months in a nutshell:

After traveling to Cleveland for two pig-out sessions on Thanksgiving Day, Chris and I crawled into bed about midnight. Two hours later, I was wide awake and in labor. If you want to gory details, I can give them to you. But to make a long story short, I went through five hours of labor without drugs and then threw in the towel. Seven hours later (that's right kids, 12 hours of labor), little Logan Matthew was born. He was three weeks early (well, who knows if these due dates are really accurate) and was 7 pounds, 3 ounces and 21 inches long. It was instant love.

For the first six weeks, he seemed to have gas issues (I guess when your little system is that new, it's got a few kinks to iron out.) and cried... a lot. Or at least it seemed that way. One night, he cried for about four hours straight. Everyone tells you that you don't get any sleep, but you don't realize just how bad this is until you go through it. Breast feeding means you wake up every two hours. Oh, and it's every two hours from when he started eating last, and he would eat for a LONG time at first. So there was only about 30 minutes at a time when I wasn't hooked up to the kid! Simple tasks were a little tough. I quickly learned to eat while feeding him, and also became ambidextrous with many tasks. Getting to go to the bathroom or take a shower was a treat. It was crazy. I look back and feel like I spent six weeks on the couch. And you know the really crazy thing? Even though practically all I did was sit, I lost the whole 30 pounds I had gained with the pregnancy (and yes guys, 30 pounds is normal). Literally five days after I had him, I was 6 pounds away from being at pre-pregnancy weight - and I owe it all to breast feeding. It can be so inconvenient, yet it's so good for the baby and for the mother!

I probably did more crying than I'd like to admit, and I have to say, I don't think it had anything to do with hormones or postpartum depression. I just simply felt like I didn't know what I was doing and was getting no sleep in the meantime. Only one or two days did I just feel down. I guess every new mother goes through that.

Now, at almost three months, Logan is doing great and spends more time smiling and cooing than crying (well, almost!). I know I'm his mom, but I think he's got to be the cutest baby in the entire world. And now that we have gotten to know each other, things are a lot smoother. I know what he wants, and he knows what he has to do to get it. Chris has really connected with him as well, and it's a great feeling to watch them together. And for the record, I have NO IDEA how single parents do it. I would have starved to death or possibly jumped out of a window if he hadn't been here to help and encourage me.

At his two-month checkup, Logan weighed 10 pounds, 4 ounces and was 23 1/4 inches long. Yep, the kid had grown 2 inches in two months! He's a long one, and his clothes show it! I have to search for pjs that are super long. He probably already weighs more and could even be longer.

It took me a long time to even start checking e-mail again, and even longer to get any pictures online (on Facebook and Myspace, and eventually on SmugMug), and it hasn't gotten much easier in the "finding spare time" department, which is why this blog has suffered. I thought I was busy before, but now it's insane. A rundown of my day includes getting up anywhere between 5:30 and 7 a.m., trying to get myself ready, feed the baby, pack up the bottles, etc., drive him to daycare (we found a good one, btw), get to work about 20 minutes late EVERY FREAKIN' DAY, work until 5 while trying to fit in 3 or 4 pumping sessions in there (still haven't made that sign we talked about), pick him up from daycare, go home and possibly take the dogs for a walk with Chris and the baby, feed Logan, wash bottles, do at least one house-related task, feed Logan, fill bottles for the next day, give Logan a bath every other night, feed Logan again and try to get him to sleep between 9 and 10 p.m. He has been sleeping between 5 and 7 hours at a time before waking up to eat in the night, which is awesome!

So, this is my new life. I'm grateful I still get to go to work and design stuff and talk to adults. I don't think I could do the stay-at-home mom thing. I wouldn't mind working part time, but at this point, I'm just grateful to have a job. I am going to be working from home on Monday afternoons, just so I can spend a little more time with the kiddo. I think the older he gets, the more fun it will be. I'll try to write more often. It will just be when I have a few spare moments at work, which is probably against all rules... but whatever!

Here is a recent photo of the little bugger! If you want to see more photos, I can e-mail you a link to a Web page we have with all our photos.

The Stache

Ever since I stopped working for a newspaper, I seem to be out of the loop on what's going on in the world. I mean, I still try to keep up with the important things, but not hearing all the depressing stuff and steering clear of the lovely biased coverage that is nearly every news source these days has not been so bad, I must say.

I also don't keep up so much with the celebs these days. But every now and then I visit People.com - which is a COMPLETE guilty pleasure - just to see what the Joneses are wearing and to see if they've captured Hayden Christensen writing me that love letter yet. (I don't know why I think he's so yummy, but I do...)

So today when I had a bit of down time, I decided to visit the ol' magazine and was a little shocked to see this:

Yeah, it's Brad, who apparently appeared on Oprah and discussed, among other things, the baseball team of a family he has with Angie. Now, I think the man is a really good actor, which is a bit unusual for someone often labeled a "pretty boy." But after seeing this shot of Brad, I'm now wondering if he's decided to dabble in another entertainment industry: porn.

I mean, check out that mustache! Whewt wew! Don't get me wrong, a mustache doesn't automatically mean you're going to be taking your clothes off for a living (especially if you're a woman, right? heh!). But for some reason, Brad dons a mustache like most women don red hair out of a bottle... not so gracefully. Maybe you don't agree; that's cool. But let's have some fun with this. Shall we?

Oprah: Hello Brad! It's so good to see... oh, you've grown a mustache! Is that for an upcoming role?

Brad: Uh, yeah. You could say that.

Oprah: Can you tell us anything about this new movie you are working on?

Brad: Well, it's a series of movies really. They probably won't be released in theaters.

Oprah: Oh, independent films?

Brad: Sure, you could call them that.

Oprah: Is Angie going to be in them with you?

Brad: Well, no, but she helps me go over my lines.

Oprah: And will this be a series the kids can watch Daddy in?

Brad: Oh no! Um, they just aren't on a kid's level really.

Oprah: Well, can you tell us the working titles?

Brad: I can only tell you a few. "Legends of the Balls," "Misha's Eleven" and "The Curious Case of Benjamin's Buttons." There are a few more that kind of work off of the names of old movies of mine as well, but I can't say the names of those on television. Let's just say "Fight Club" has its own spin. (That was just wrong, wasn't it?)

Ha! Of course, considering I do not watch porn, I really don't know if Brad actually fits the bill, but for some reason that stache made me think he's headed for some low-budget films. Of course, when visiting his page on IMDB, it looks like he's actually headed toward some pretty interesting films.

But alas, I had to do something way more light-hearted than the last post...

Here's one more shot of that facial hair:

Because Your Family Loves You and Other Reasons Not to Drink and Drive

I mentioned earlier that my oldest brother, Anthony, had been in a car accident, and several of my lovely commenters have asked how he's doing.

The answer would be: OK... now.

See, the knucklehead that used to play hide and seek with us as kids and who is an avid Rush fan and fantastic drummer and artist took up drinking quite a while ago - I'm thinking probably in his teens. Drugs were also a part of the mix. But the downward spiral really started when my dad died (by the way, sorry if this is sounding very Debbie Downer-ish). I don't care who you are or what you're beliefs are, but when something like that happens, it sure does help to have a solid rock to lean on. We all had a hard time, of course, but Anthony seemed to go to the things he'd always known to "take away the pain." Only this time, it was full force.

So here we are, 15 years later, and Anthony's life has followed a terrible pattern. Drink. Find a really bad girlfriend or wife. Have a baby. Drink. Get pissed off at girlfriend/wife and start hitting. Drink. Lose connection with baby. Drink. Play in a band. Drink. Do a little painting or cooking for a job. Drink. Drive while drinking. Almost run head-on into a cop. Get arrested. Lose license. Flee the state. Drink. Drink. Drink. Do a little drugs. Find a really bad girlfriend. Have a baby. Drink. Go back to original state. Spend over six months in jail. Get out on probation with strict rules not to drink and not to drive. Drink. Get pissed off at girlfriend. Drink. Drive girlfriend's car one rainy night with a 12-pack of beer in the back seat. Spin out of control until running head-on into a tree.

So that's how we got here. The night of the accident, he had to have emergency surgery on his stomach and colon, both of which had been ripped open during the crash. One leg is completely broken, and the other ankle has a small fracture. During his time in the hospital, they took the drainage tube out of his stomach too soon and gave him a little liquid. When his stomach swelled up to the size of a large balloon and he was in major pain, the doctors went back in and emptied about a gallon of bile out of his stomach and removed an "obstruction" from his colon. (Yeah, it's gross, but when you're stomach doesn't have anything to do, it freaks out.) When he got out of that surgery, he freaked out one night, pulling all of his IVs out. Apparently, he had way too much CO2 in his body, plus was taking Morphine, and on top of all that was going through withdrawal symptoms (Did I mention they did a tox-screen when he arrived at the hospital and they found alcohol and drugs in his system?). So off to ICU he went. They put him in a drug-induced coma and put restraints on his arms. After getting rid of the CO2, they discovered that his lungs had fluid in them (aka pneumonia apparently), and they drained those as well.

He's now awake, back in a normal room and on his way to recovery. He'll be going through rehab for the legs for a while and, according to my sister, looks like Frankenstein on the stomach. No laser surgery here, folks. They sliced him from his chest to his pelvic and then closed him back up with staples - yep, staples.

Once out of the hospital, who knows. Considering he violated his probation, he may be off to jail again. And in the midst of all this craziness, his even crazier girlfriend decided to ship the baby off to Florida with her sisters to "give him to her brother who has custody of her two girls." Yep, she's had two other babies, both of which were taken away from her. Don't get me started on the need for sterilization here...

So what's the moral to this story? Well, I think this goes beyond the ol' "Don't drink and drive." Do not think that a 12-pack, or a lifetime of 12-packs is going to take away the problem; it only makes it worse. It only causes more pain.

Chris and I went to visit him in the hospital in between the second surgery and the trip to ICU. He doesn't even remember us being there, but you better believe I'll be repeating what I said to him that night, even though I know it may go in one ear and out the other. I told him that he just keeps getting chances and that every time he does something he's not suppose to do, he gets caught. Other people get away with it, but not him. And I told him that was for a reason. Someone is looking out for him and making sure that he gets caught and gets another chance. But I also told him this may be the last chance he gets.

I didn't mention to him that I'm really pretty hurt because a) He's my brother - I love him and don't want to lose him, and b) he could have killed someone else. What if his little sister had been in town visiting that night and he had slammed into her car... with her in it... carrying little Logan. How would he feel then? Cause it could have been someone else's loved one instead of a tree that he hit. It could have been a woman carrying a baby, or someone's dad, or someone's son.

He knows he really screwed up. He keeps saying it. I just hope this time it sticks. He has sang the tune of redemption before, only to jump right back into this life. And I'm sure it's hard when it's all you've known. All of his friends drink. Shoot, half of his family drinks. So it's hard to believe that he'll turn around. But he just has to, and I think he's starting to figure out that there's only one way to get through all of this.

OK, my next post really needs to be light-hearted and funny to make up for this whopper. The people who comment on this blog on a regular basis are responsible in their drinking. But even if some random person wanders onto this blog and it causes them to put down that beer, good. It was worth it. Peace out!

To Do

To do before Logan arrives:

1. Find a baby sitter/nursery (Anyone want to quit their job and take up child care?)

2. Find a pediatrician that will be awesome for Logan and that is covered on my insurance

3. Finish decorating his room and hanging up baby clothes

4. Clean out little closets in his room

5. Somehow get some Christmas shopping done in the midst of baby preparations and back pain

6. Buy a breast pump, get reimbursed for 80 percent of the cost from insurance (awesome!) and get HR at work to find me a place to pump once I come back

7. Pack the hospital bag

8. Clean my house from top to bottom

9. Psych myself up for delivery and not freak out about it

10. Start a college fund for the little guy

What I really want to do:

1. Sleep

2. Sleep on my stomach again

3. Sleep with Logan in the bassinet beside me, Chris next to me and Sadie and Jewels in their respective beds...

Did I mention I would love to sleep?

Here I Am

It's as though I have dropped off the face of the earth, right? Times, they've been a crazy busy around here, both at work and at home. So what suffers? The infamous blog of course.

With that said, I have to report of some sad times this past weekend. See, Friday was October 31, and around these parts, that means it's the one time of year I walk out of my house dressed slightly above a stripper and completely go crazy at our annual Halloween get-together, otherwise known as "Slutty Halloween." It's just a time when some friends gather to enjoy a night of looking nothing like they would on a normal basis. And this year, we just didn't participate.

First of all, I look like I have a basketball protruding from my gut which doesn't make for me feeling very sexy/slutty. Secondly, the party that we were invited to this year was well-attended by employees of the newspaper where we used to work. And we don't really know a lot of them. The friends we usually gather with come from far and wide, and some of them have done nothing but travel for the past four months. Plus, we would have had to host the party at our place, and that would have required us not being in the middle of baby preparations.

On top of all of that, my oldest brother was in the hospital after a car accident, so we drove up to Tennessee to see him. We weren't even home to waist tons of candy on the thousands of little munchkins that come to our house every year. We're a little sad there, too. We didn't even buy candy because we figured we'd pack into the car and hit the road to avoid the trick or treaters. Last year, we spent $50 on candy and were out in an hour and a half because the neighborhood where we live is swarming with kids on Halloween. Some kid even opened our door last year - no need knocking I guess. They just go mad with all that sugar!

I hope this doesn't mean the tradition is over. I know we're having a baby, and so we'll be doing the whole trick or treat thing with our own. But it's important for me to have that yearly "I'm someone else" moment. Forget the party even. I wouldn't mind just dressing up and going out with a bunch of friends. Anyone game for that next year???

Color-Coated Career Path

I clicked on a link yesterday from MSN which brought me to CareerBuilder.com/CareerPath.com and this little quiz. So I took the quiz, which apparently tells you what type of job personality you have and some careers that may be good for you solely based on the colors you choose.

Here's what my results said:

BEST OCCUPATIONAL CATEGORY

You're an ORGANIZER

Key Words: Self-Control, Practical, Self-Contained, Orderly, Systematic, Precise, and Accurate

These conservative appearing, plotting-types enjoy organizing, data systems, accounting, detail, and accuracy. They often enjoy mathematics and data management activities such as accounting and investment management. Persistence and patience allows them to do detailed paperwork, operate office machines, write business reports, and make charts and graphs.

ORGANIZER CAREERS
Suggested careers are Administrator, Secretary, Printer, Paralegal, Building Inspector, Bank Cashier, Private Secretary, Statistician, Operations Manager, Financial Analyst, Bookkeeper, Medical Records Technician, Developer of Business or Computer Systems, Clerical Worker, Proofreader, Accountant, Administrative Assistant, Banker, Certified Public Accountant, Credit Manager, Store Salesperson, Actuary, Dental Assistant, Business Education Teacher, Food Service Manager, IRS Agent, Budget Analyst, and Underwriter.

ORGANIZER WORKPLACES
Your very careful, conscientious, conservative nature gives others the confidence to trust you with handling money and material possessions. Structured organizations that have well-ordered chains of command work best for you.

Suggested Organizer workplaces are large corporations, business offices, financial lending institutions, banks, insurance companies, accounting firms, and quality control and inspection departments.

2nd BEST OCCUPATIONAL CATEGORY

You're a RESEARCHER

Key Words: Independent, Self-Motivated, Reserved, Introspective, Analytical, and Curious

These investigative types gather information, analyze and interpret data, and inquire to uncover new facts. They have a strong scientific orientation, enjoy academic or research environments and prefer self-reliant jobs. Dislikes are group projects, selling, and repetitive activities.

Now, anyone who knows me would say I don't hate math or science but would also say that I would surely not enjoy a career in them (with the exception of being a CSI, but only if it were like the show and I know better). Sure, I'm an organizer, and I would say I'm a researcher as well. But if you read the description of organizer, it might actually be more accurate to say that it is describing my husband.

I was a little offended that it didn't say anything about creativity, then I reminded myself that this little test was based solely on colors I chose. If I went back and took it right now, I might not even pick the same colors.

Eh, oh well. If any of you feel like taking the quiz, I want to know what it says for you. But I wouldn't take it to heart. Apparently, I should be a bank teller instead of making pretty publications. Um yeah, how's about I not be bored out of my mind instead...

It's Not You; It's Me

Oh who am I kidding? In a perfect world, I would have time for all the things I want and need to do, and that would include this blog.

I have deserted you this week. And it's not like I haven't had plenty of blog fodder. It's just that getting to the computer after work is like breaking through a force field, and getting to the blogosphere while at work is almost just as hard. I've had a little time to read some of your blogs but not much.

The new branding campaign I have mentioned before that we are working on at the ol' job has completely consumed my days. I've even had to *gasp* stay late a few days. Most of our designs lately have required some labor-intensive work - and layer-intensive, as the case may be in Photoshop. I can show you some of it, but I have to lay low on mentioning the actual name of the place at which I work. 

Here is a series of postcards I have designed to get the word out about some of our majors. I have also put white boxes over the last name of the person featured on the postcard.:

The design includes using small bits of art called vector images. With vector, you can make the image larger or smaller without it losing information or it getting all pixelated. So that's what I've been up to. Of course, add to that every business card, letterhead and envelope order for anyone on campus, reunion brochures, flyers, invitations, etc. at work and planning for a baby, keeping my house clean and trying not to neglect family and friends after work and on weekends and you've got one busy girl.

Over the past week and a half, Chris and I took a little weekend getaway to Blue Ridge and stayed in a great B&B, which we've never done before. We also went tubing while in Blue Ridge, which was a blast. Then we finished registering for baby gear. We are now officially registered at Target and Babies R Us. Although Chris was greatly disappointed in the amount of plastic we will be using as parents, we tried to offset it a little bit by registering for Method products and organic cotton. Plus, we will be using G-Diapers, which you can read all about on Chris' blog.

I'm getting the vibe that my readers have all have been pretty darn busy, too. Any stories?