The Stache

Ever since I stopped working for a newspaper, I seem to be out of the loop on what's going on in the world. I mean, I still try to keep up with the important things, but not hearing all the depressing stuff and steering clear of the lovely biased coverage that is nearly every news source these days has not been so bad, I must say.

I also don't keep up so much with the celebs these days. But every now and then I visit People.com - which is a COMPLETE guilty pleasure - just to see what the Joneses are wearing and to see if they've captured Hayden Christensen writing me that love letter yet. (I don't know why I think he's so yummy, but I do...)

So today when I had a bit of down time, I decided to visit the ol' magazine and was a little shocked to see this:

Yeah, it's Brad, who apparently appeared on Oprah and discussed, among other things, the baseball team of a family he has with Angie. Now, I think the man is a really good actor, which is a bit unusual for someone often labeled a "pretty boy." But after seeing this shot of Brad, I'm now wondering if he's decided to dabble in another entertainment industry: porn.

I mean, check out that mustache! Whewt wew! Don't get me wrong, a mustache doesn't automatically mean you're going to be taking your clothes off for a living (especially if you're a woman, right? heh!). But for some reason, Brad dons a mustache like most women don red hair out of a bottle... not so gracefully. Maybe you don't agree; that's cool. But let's have some fun with this. Shall we?

Oprah: Hello Brad! It's so good to see... oh, you've grown a mustache! Is that for an upcoming role?

Brad: Uh, yeah. You could say that.

Oprah: Can you tell us anything about this new movie you are working on?

Brad: Well, it's a series of movies really. They probably won't be released in theaters.

Oprah: Oh, independent films?

Brad: Sure, you could call them that.

Oprah: Is Angie going to be in them with you?

Brad: Well, no, but she helps me go over my lines.

Oprah: And will this be a series the kids can watch Daddy in?

Brad: Oh no! Um, they just aren't on a kid's level really.

Oprah: Well, can you tell us the working titles?

Brad: I can only tell you a few. "Legends of the Balls," "Misha's Eleven" and "The Curious Case of Benjamin's Buttons." There are a few more that kind of work off of the names of old movies of mine as well, but I can't say the names of those on television. Let's just say "Fight Club" has its own spin. (That was just wrong, wasn't it?)

Ha! Of course, considering I do not watch porn, I really don't know if Brad actually fits the bill, but for some reason that stache made me think he's headed for some low-budget films. Of course, when visiting his page on IMDB, it looks like he's actually headed toward some pretty interesting films.

But alas, I had to do something way more light-hearted than the last post...

Here's one more shot of that facial hair:

Because Your Family Loves You and Other Reasons Not to Drink and Drive

I mentioned earlier that my oldest brother, Anthony, had been in a car accident, and several of my lovely commenters have asked how he's doing.

The answer would be: OK... now.

See, the knucklehead that used to play hide and seek with us as kids and who is an avid Rush fan and fantastic drummer and artist took up drinking quite a while ago - I'm thinking probably in his teens. Drugs were also a part of the mix. But the downward spiral really started when my dad died (by the way, sorry if this is sounding very Debbie Downer-ish). I don't care who you are or what you're beliefs are, but when something like that happens, it sure does help to have a solid rock to lean on. We all had a hard time, of course, but Anthony seemed to go to the things he'd always known to "take away the pain." Only this time, it was full force.

So here we are, 15 years later, and Anthony's life has followed a terrible pattern. Drink. Find a really bad girlfriend or wife. Have a baby. Drink. Get pissed off at girlfriend/wife and start hitting. Drink. Lose connection with baby. Drink. Play in a band. Drink. Do a little painting or cooking for a job. Drink. Drive while drinking. Almost run head-on into a cop. Get arrested. Lose license. Flee the state. Drink. Drink. Drink. Do a little drugs. Find a really bad girlfriend. Have a baby. Drink. Go back to original state. Spend over six months in jail. Get out on probation with strict rules not to drink and not to drive. Drink. Get pissed off at girlfriend. Drink. Drive girlfriend's car one rainy night with a 12-pack of beer in the back seat. Spin out of control until running head-on into a tree.

So that's how we got here. The night of the accident, he had to have emergency surgery on his stomach and colon, both of which had been ripped open during the crash. One leg is completely broken, and the other ankle has a small fracture. During his time in the hospital, they took the drainage tube out of his stomach too soon and gave him a little liquid. When his stomach swelled up to the size of a large balloon and he was in major pain, the doctors went back in and emptied about a gallon of bile out of his stomach and removed an "obstruction" from his colon. (Yeah, it's gross, but when you're stomach doesn't have anything to do, it freaks out.) When he got out of that surgery, he freaked out one night, pulling all of his IVs out. Apparently, he had way too much CO2 in his body, plus was taking Morphine, and on top of all that was going through withdrawal symptoms (Did I mention they did a tox-screen when he arrived at the hospital and they found alcohol and drugs in his system?). So off to ICU he went. They put him in a drug-induced coma and put restraints on his arms. After getting rid of the CO2, they discovered that his lungs had fluid in them (aka pneumonia apparently), and they drained those as well.

He's now awake, back in a normal room and on his way to recovery. He'll be going through rehab for the legs for a while and, according to my sister, looks like Frankenstein on the stomach. No laser surgery here, folks. They sliced him from his chest to his pelvic and then closed him back up with staples - yep, staples.

Once out of the hospital, who knows. Considering he violated his probation, he may be off to jail again. And in the midst of all this craziness, his even crazier girlfriend decided to ship the baby off to Florida with her sisters to "give him to her brother who has custody of her two girls." Yep, she's had two other babies, both of which were taken away from her. Don't get me started on the need for sterilization here...

So what's the moral to this story? Well, I think this goes beyond the ol' "Don't drink and drive." Do not think that a 12-pack, or a lifetime of 12-packs is going to take away the problem; it only makes it worse. It only causes more pain.

Chris and I went to visit him in the hospital in between the second surgery and the trip to ICU. He doesn't even remember us being there, but you better believe I'll be repeating what I said to him that night, even though I know it may go in one ear and out the other. I told him that he just keeps getting chances and that every time he does something he's not suppose to do, he gets caught. Other people get away with it, but not him. And I told him that was for a reason. Someone is looking out for him and making sure that he gets caught and gets another chance. But I also told him this may be the last chance he gets.

I didn't mention to him that I'm really pretty hurt because a) He's my brother - I love him and don't want to lose him, and b) he could have killed someone else. What if his little sister had been in town visiting that night and he had slammed into her car... with her in it... carrying little Logan. How would he feel then? Cause it could have been someone else's loved one instead of a tree that he hit. It could have been a woman carrying a baby, or someone's dad, or someone's son.

He knows he really screwed up. He keeps saying it. I just hope this time it sticks. He has sang the tune of redemption before, only to jump right back into this life. And I'm sure it's hard when it's all you've known. All of his friends drink. Shoot, half of his family drinks. So it's hard to believe that he'll turn around. But he just has to, and I think he's starting to figure out that there's only one way to get through all of this.

OK, my next post really needs to be light-hearted and funny to make up for this whopper. The people who comment on this blog on a regular basis are responsible in their drinking. But even if some random person wanders onto this blog and it causes them to put down that beer, good. It was worth it. Peace out!

To Do

To do before Logan arrives:

1. Find a baby sitter/nursery (Anyone want to quit their job and take up child care?)

2. Find a pediatrician that will be awesome for Logan and that is covered on my insurance

3. Finish decorating his room and hanging up baby clothes

4. Clean out little closets in his room

5. Somehow get some Christmas shopping done in the midst of baby preparations and back pain

6. Buy a breast pump, get reimbursed for 80 percent of the cost from insurance (awesome!) and get HR at work to find me a place to pump once I come back

7. Pack the hospital bag

8. Clean my house from top to bottom

9. Psych myself up for delivery and not freak out about it

10. Start a college fund for the little guy

What I really want to do:

1. Sleep

2. Sleep on my stomach again

3. Sleep with Logan in the bassinet beside me, Chris next to me and Sadie and Jewels in their respective beds...

Did I mention I would love to sleep?

Here I Am

It's as though I have dropped off the face of the earth, right? Times, they've been a crazy busy around here, both at work and at home. So what suffers? The infamous blog of course.

With that said, I have to report of some sad times this past weekend. See, Friday was October 31, and around these parts, that means it's the one time of year I walk out of my house dressed slightly above a stripper and completely go crazy at our annual Halloween get-together, otherwise known as "Slutty Halloween." It's just a time when some friends gather to enjoy a night of looking nothing like they would on a normal basis. And this year, we just didn't participate.

First of all, I look like I have a basketball protruding from my gut which doesn't make for me feeling very sexy/slutty. Secondly, the party that we were invited to this year was well-attended by employees of the newspaper where we used to work. And we don't really know a lot of them. The friends we usually gather with come from far and wide, and some of them have done nothing but travel for the past four months. Plus, we would have had to host the party at our place, and that would have required us not being in the middle of baby preparations.

On top of all of that, my oldest brother was in the hospital after a car accident, so we drove up to Tennessee to see him. We weren't even home to waist tons of candy on the thousands of little munchkins that come to our house every year. We're a little sad there, too. We didn't even buy candy because we figured we'd pack into the car and hit the road to avoid the trick or treaters. Last year, we spent $50 on candy and were out in an hour and a half because the neighborhood where we live is swarming with kids on Halloween. Some kid even opened our door last year - no need knocking I guess. They just go mad with all that sugar!

I hope this doesn't mean the tradition is over. I know we're having a baby, and so we'll be doing the whole trick or treat thing with our own. But it's important for me to have that yearly "I'm someone else" moment. Forget the party even. I wouldn't mind just dressing up and going out with a bunch of friends. Anyone game for that next year???