He Liked It, So He Put A Ring on It

A few weeks ago, I had to visit one of our clients on campus to discuss a poster she wanted. She's a young woman, fresh out of college, and her mother works on the same floor where I work; so I knew this woman had just gotten married. I asked her if she was enjoying being married - and then it happened.

As if on cue, her eyes immediately dropped to my left hand. I could see the conversation with herself in just a matter of a few seconds.

Is she married? Check.

Is her ring bigger than mine? Nope.

As her eyes came back to my face, my mind flashed back to that Monday following my engagement. I attended a small college, so I wasn't too surprised that EVERYONE seemed to know I was engaged by lunch time even though I had only told a few people. I was excited but I didn't really want to make a big deal out of it. After all, I was not in college to get my MRS degree, as so many have put it. It just so happened that the person I am meant to spend the rest of my life with was in college the same time I was.

But as I approached the dining hall that afternoon, a swarm of females huddled around me (and probably a few gay guys - haha! You have to know where I went to school). Why? Not to ask how he asked me, not to tell me congratulations... but to see the ring. And though the swarm was a little scary, knowing what their reactions were going to be was a bit scarier. The faces turned from "oh my gosh, let me see" to "oh" and "bless her heart, it's so small."

That's right. It's a small engagement ring. It's a traditional gold band with a single marquise-cut diamond, only one-fifth of a karat mind you. But you know what? It's mine, and it was given to me by the one man who gets me.

So of course seven years later, and even then, I just don't really care. What bothers me is that these girls get so wrapped up in something so, well, materialistic. The engagement and wedding rings are symbols. They are worn to show that you value a relationship that is suppose to be never ending, which is why they are circular.

After celebrating our anniversary Monday, I can really see where the idea comes from. Chris and I were talking about how on one hand, it seems like we've been together forever. But on the other hand, it seems like just yesterday we were making eyes in journalism class in high school (nerd alert). But the crazy thing is that you may not even realize when your relationship really "began," and I guess we don't know for sure when it will "end." So much like the circle, there is no set beginning and ending. It just keeps on keeping on.

I'll just be completely honest here. We spent a total of $300 on my rings (I think I'm remembering correctly) and another maybe $100 on his. But you know, that's where we came from. We had very little money. We were "living on love" to quote the great (or not-so-great) Alan Jackson. We had an inexpensive wedding that we had to pay for ourselves. My brother bought my dress, and Chris' brother paid for our honeymoon. We moved into an apartment that had a kitchen the size of a closet and smelled a little like cat pee. But that sucker only cost $385 a month. And a little Italian cheese can, a gift from Kari (shout out!), sat near our microwave in the dining room collecting my tips from working at the coffee shop. It was our "vacation fund."

I picked out this ring, well, showed Chris a picture of it. It's simple, doesn't get caught in anything too often and rarely scratches people - much like its owner. When we started talking about engagement rings and the wedding, the deal was when we had the money for it, we'd do it. And after dating for three years already, I wasn't about to wait three more years so that I could have a massive ring. Financing a piece of jewelry just wasn't an option for us, a sound financial decision I have to say.

So, if the amazing man I married doesn't get tired of me, I'll be enjoying this little ring for a long time, looking down and remembering the day he gave it to me and what he said. Maybe someday I'll have those words inscribed onto the ring. 

"I always want to be with you."

More Randomness

Well, as the always unfaithful blogger I am, I have to play catch-up. So what better way to update you on the Life o' Meaghan than a list of random things? And how about by numbers and by month (of course it had to be organized)...

In March
Spent a much-needed but not-long-enough 5 hours with my best friend Stephanie.

Spent a much-needed 8 hours or so with my best friend Shannon. We went hiking in Benton, Tenn., and did not get eaten alive by black bears, much to her mother's delight.

Took care of Logan for 4 days by myself while Chris attended a conference in Orlando.

Logan turned 4 months old!

Had 28 teeth cleaned and was told 1 needed a filling :(

Had first family photos taken.

Was sick with the flu (not swine) for about 7 days.

In April
Took Logan for his 4-month check up where I learned he was more than 14 pounds and was 26 inches long. At that point, he was just over the 25th percentile in weight, over the 75th in length and above the 95th in head circumference! That's right kids, he has his dad's body made over - long, thin and with a big head. I think he has his brains, too, though, so it's awesome!

Number of days taken off: 3 - one for Good Friday and two as vacation days.

Spent 8 hours ALL BY MYSELF shopping in Atlantic Station at White House | Black Market, H&M, Gap, Ann Taylor and DSW. I was helping out the economy. You're welcome. (I may have to model a few pieces!)

Had 12 family members at our church and house at one time for Logan's baby dedication. Number of seconds it took for my mom to piss me off: 2 (There is no reason why Logan can't wear normal clothes instead of baby PJs all the time, right?).

Number of hours that I will never get back after a pointless meeting at work: 3

Number of hours getting my hair done during my three-month hair do "check up": 3

Had a mock interview at my alma mater. Preceding said interview, potential employee sent her resume and cover letter. Number of sentences it took until I found a mistake in her cover letter: 2 (wasn't much better for the resume... really people? REALLY?)

Number of times Sadie wagged her tail when I took her to the vet: at least 1 million (What dog LIKES the vet?)

At an average of 8 diapers a day, Logan has gone through approximately 448 diapers since my last post. Sorry environment. We tried with the G Diapers but they just kept leaking...

Number of smiles a day that make those 448 diapers worth it: at least 100

Logan turned 5 months old!

And to come...

Number of years Chris and I will be married on May 18: 7

Number of days until vacation: 35

25 Random Things

As a member of Facebook, I took part in passing around this little "note" as it is called on the site. Apparently, it was an extremely popular item considering the New York Times did a story on how this was passed around more than anything that has ever been shared on Facebook. (BTW, did anyone see "30 Rock" the other night when the pregnant girl called it "Myface." That was hilarious!)

Anywho, I'm thinking it was so popular for two reasons: a) because people just like to talk about themselves and b) because people like to read about their friends. So I am posting it on the blog and would love for all my readers to share 25 random things about themselves. Oh and I changed just a few things from when I originally created the list, just because I had meant to put them on there and forgot.

25 Random Things About Me

1. I'm enjoying motherhood more than I expected. It was tough at first, but we are getting to know each other. I really like him!

2. I can't get used to being a "mom." And I don't want to look like one:)

3. The more new music comes out, the more I revert back to what I grew up with.

4. I shop at Salvation Army to find name brand clothing at a major discount, even though I got made fun of for shopping there as a kid.

5. I don't really like a lot of jewelry and have gone weeks without wearing any (except for my wedding and engagement rings).

6. I LOVE my Mac at work and wish I could have one at home (but it cost $3,000).

7. I like to wear my hair wavy on rainy days because the water will only help it, and I won't wear my glasses on a rainy day because I hate having little water drops in front of my eyes.

8. Speaking of, no one ever said I had pretty eyes until I got contacts.

9. I like the smell of Scotch tape and Post-It notes. (I know, weird, right?)

10. I wanted to be a singer when I was growing up. I would still love to be a backup singer - not sure I could be in the lime light as the lead. (We can't all come out of our shell like Mickey.)

11. I love to cook. It always reminds me of my dad.

12. Sometimes I wish I lived next door to my brother. I miss him and his sweet little family. (But that would mean I'd live about 2 miles down the road from my mom, and I just can't do it.)

13. Even though I have a baby, I don't really like all kids or babies. But I pretty much love all dogs, especially the mid- to large-size ones.

14. I'm not usually a supporter of cosmetic surgery, but I would get laser hair removal in an instant. I HATE having to shave. I have better ways to spend my time.

15. I really like watching movies.

16. I am a member of a Baptist church pastored by a husband and wife. I really enjoy messages from both and fully support women leaders in the church.

17. I sometimes miss newspaper life... then I remember how many hours I used to work.

18. My husband is truly my best friend, and I'm so grateful for him!

19. Just thinking about the fact that my dogs won't always be here brings tears to my eyes.

20. I only really cry about twice a year, minus some postpartum moments.

21. I don't neglect dairy products because they can be fattening. I don't want to suffer from osteoporosis when I'm old.

22. I have taken a vitamin nearly every day since my freshman year in college.

23. My favorite stores are White House/Black Market and H&M, both of which are in Atlantic Station in Atlanta. Can't wait to hit those shops soon.

24. I've had the same best friend since fifth grade, and she's amazing!

25. I punched two boys before the age of 12. One for calling me four-eyes and the other in defense of someone else. And I didn't get in trouble for either!

Me Like Boys

I'm sure it's pretty obvious since I am married to one, but this goes beyond sexual attraction.

One of my friends at work was telling me and another friend some issues she has been having with her roommate. The issues have been happening for months and my friend is getting seriously frustrated. At the end of the conversation, I said, "Girls! There's always so much drama. This was exactly why I hung out with guys a lot in high school."

And it's true! I have a few very good girl friends who are just fine with me and I'm just fine with them and there's no crap in the middle, just friendship. We love and respect each other for who we are and that's that. But there are plenty of other friends that are girls that just create problems. Don't get me wrong, I'm certainly not saying that guys are better than girls and I'm not putting all girls into a box, which is why I mentioned my awesome girl friends. In discussing this with other girls, many of them completely agree and tend to keep friendships with guys for the very same reason.

Maybe it's because I enjoyed spending time with my dad or because I ended up playing with my brothers growing up, but I just enjoy the company of guys. I know this probably sounds a little harsh, but you don't have to be so overly concerned with feelings when you are talking with a man - for the most part. You can usually be pretty frank about things, but you have to be able to take that in return as well. I usually appreciate when someone can be just flat-out honest with me. And I'm a girl, so my little feelings may get hurt at first. But I'll get over it.

After the comment I made with my friend, a male friend of ours who was sitting in on the conversation said, "You're what we called a tease in high school." At which point I said, "I'm sure I did my fair share of flirting, but I wasn't hot enough to be a tease!" It's always good to keep yourself in perspective! Ha!

But yeah, I'll admit, some flirting went on. Overall though, just friendship. I just can't figure out why this all happens this way. Growing up, many of my girl friends felt it was their job to tell me how to live my life or compete with me for, well, attention I guess. Put the nails down, girls. It's going to be OK.

I'll be honest though. I'm sure I've caused my own fair share of drama in my lifetime. And Chris, being my best friend of all time, has heard more female crap than he'd care to, I'm sure. (Thanks for hanging in there, man!) But that brings another point to mind. I think a lot of guys go to girls for friendship because they feel they can open up more to a woman. Unfortunately our society pegs men as weak when they share their feelings with other men, so to the women they go.

I hope I don't piss any women off in writing this, especially considering those great girl friends that I mentioned before are the ones who read this blog. I think interpersonal communication just really interests me, so I've given some thought to this. There's probably some psychological reason for my feeling this way, too.

In a shout out to the girls though, we ARE the stronger sex! Ha! Well, maybe not, but now that I'm a mom I just want to know why the men can't be pregnant, give birth and breast feed - oh, and multitask!

Oh well... here are my two favorite guys:



Random update: Logan just turned 3 months old on Saturday and is now at 12 pounds 2 ounces. He's been a little sick and had a rough couple of nights but seems to be getting better!

Oh, and do you dig my new look?

Can Someone Talk to God About Adding A Couple More Hours to the Day?

I actually considered deleting this blog altogether since I haven't written on it in months. In fact, you guys have probably given up on me and aren't even checking it any more. So maybe no one will read this, and that's OK.

So a lot has happened since the last post. (And can I apologize for leaving Brad's porn stache up for so long? Sorry!) I guess you guys heard I had a baby. What? You didn't know? Yeah, I mean, it was a piece of cake and has been totally easy since day 1. HAH! RIGHT! In all honesty, this has been the hardest thing I have ever done in my entire life. At the same time, I am really loving it.

Here's the past three months in a nutshell:

After traveling to Cleveland for two pig-out sessions on Thanksgiving Day, Chris and I crawled into bed about midnight. Two hours later, I was wide awake and in labor. If you want to gory details, I can give them to you. But to make a long story short, I went through five hours of labor without drugs and then threw in the towel. Seven hours later (that's right kids, 12 hours of labor), little Logan Matthew was born. He was three weeks early (well, who knows if these due dates are really accurate) and was 7 pounds, 3 ounces and 21 inches long. It was instant love.

For the first six weeks, he seemed to have gas issues (I guess when your little system is that new, it's got a few kinks to iron out.) and cried... a lot. Or at least it seemed that way. One night, he cried for about four hours straight. Everyone tells you that you don't get any sleep, but you don't realize just how bad this is until you go through it. Breast feeding means you wake up every two hours. Oh, and it's every two hours from when he started eating last, and he would eat for a LONG time at first. So there was only about 30 minutes at a time when I wasn't hooked up to the kid! Simple tasks were a little tough. I quickly learned to eat while feeding him, and also became ambidextrous with many tasks. Getting to go to the bathroom or take a shower was a treat. It was crazy. I look back and feel like I spent six weeks on the couch. And you know the really crazy thing? Even though practically all I did was sit, I lost the whole 30 pounds I had gained with the pregnancy (and yes guys, 30 pounds is normal). Literally five days after I had him, I was 6 pounds away from being at pre-pregnancy weight - and I owe it all to breast feeding. It can be so inconvenient, yet it's so good for the baby and for the mother!

I probably did more crying than I'd like to admit, and I have to say, I don't think it had anything to do with hormones or postpartum depression. I just simply felt like I didn't know what I was doing and was getting no sleep in the meantime. Only one or two days did I just feel down. I guess every new mother goes through that.

Now, at almost three months, Logan is doing great and spends more time smiling and cooing than crying (well, almost!). I know I'm his mom, but I think he's got to be the cutest baby in the entire world. And now that we have gotten to know each other, things are a lot smoother. I know what he wants, and he knows what he has to do to get it. Chris has really connected with him as well, and it's a great feeling to watch them together. And for the record, I have NO IDEA how single parents do it. I would have starved to death or possibly jumped out of a window if he hadn't been here to help and encourage me.

At his two-month checkup, Logan weighed 10 pounds, 4 ounces and was 23 1/4 inches long. Yep, the kid had grown 2 inches in two months! He's a long one, and his clothes show it! I have to search for pjs that are super long. He probably already weighs more and could even be longer.

It took me a long time to even start checking e-mail again, and even longer to get any pictures online (on Facebook and Myspace, and eventually on SmugMug), and it hasn't gotten much easier in the "finding spare time" department, which is why this blog has suffered. I thought I was busy before, but now it's insane. A rundown of my day includes getting up anywhere between 5:30 and 7 a.m., trying to get myself ready, feed the baby, pack up the bottles, etc., drive him to daycare (we found a good one, btw), get to work about 20 minutes late EVERY FREAKIN' DAY, work until 5 while trying to fit in 3 or 4 pumping sessions in there (still haven't made that sign we talked about), pick him up from daycare, go home and possibly take the dogs for a walk with Chris and the baby, feed Logan, wash bottles, do at least one house-related task, feed Logan, fill bottles for the next day, give Logan a bath every other night, feed Logan again and try to get him to sleep between 9 and 10 p.m. He has been sleeping between 5 and 7 hours at a time before waking up to eat in the night, which is awesome!

So, this is my new life. I'm grateful I still get to go to work and design stuff and talk to adults. I don't think I could do the stay-at-home mom thing. I wouldn't mind working part time, but at this point, I'm just grateful to have a job. I am going to be working from home on Monday afternoons, just so I can spend a little more time with the kiddo. I think the older he gets, the more fun it will be. I'll try to write more often. It will just be when I have a few spare moments at work, which is probably against all rules... but whatever!

Here is a recent photo of the little bugger! If you want to see more photos, I can e-mail you a link to a Web page we have with all our photos.

The Stache

Ever since I stopped working for a newspaper, I seem to be out of the loop on what's going on in the world. I mean, I still try to keep up with the important things, but not hearing all the depressing stuff and steering clear of the lovely biased coverage that is nearly every news source these days has not been so bad, I must say.

I also don't keep up so much with the celebs these days. But every now and then I visit People.com - which is a COMPLETE guilty pleasure - just to see what the Joneses are wearing and to see if they've captured Hayden Christensen writing me that love letter yet. (I don't know why I think he's so yummy, but I do...)

So today when I had a bit of down time, I decided to visit the ol' magazine and was a little shocked to see this:

Yeah, it's Brad, who apparently appeared on Oprah and discussed, among other things, the baseball team of a family he has with Angie. Now, I think the man is a really good actor, which is a bit unusual for someone often labeled a "pretty boy." But after seeing this shot of Brad, I'm now wondering if he's decided to dabble in another entertainment industry: porn.

I mean, check out that mustache! Whewt wew! Don't get me wrong, a mustache doesn't automatically mean you're going to be taking your clothes off for a living (especially if you're a woman, right? heh!). But for some reason, Brad dons a mustache like most women don red hair out of a bottle... not so gracefully. Maybe you don't agree; that's cool. But let's have some fun with this. Shall we?

Oprah: Hello Brad! It's so good to see... oh, you've grown a mustache! Is that for an upcoming role?

Brad: Uh, yeah. You could say that.

Oprah: Can you tell us anything about this new movie you are working on?

Brad: Well, it's a series of movies really. They probably won't be released in theaters.

Oprah: Oh, independent films?

Brad: Sure, you could call them that.

Oprah: Is Angie going to be in them with you?

Brad: Well, no, but she helps me go over my lines.

Oprah: And will this be a series the kids can watch Daddy in?

Brad: Oh no! Um, they just aren't on a kid's level really.

Oprah: Well, can you tell us the working titles?

Brad: I can only tell you a few. "Legends of the Balls," "Misha's Eleven" and "The Curious Case of Benjamin's Buttons." There are a few more that kind of work off of the names of old movies of mine as well, but I can't say the names of those on television. Let's just say "Fight Club" has its own spin. (That was just wrong, wasn't it?)

Ha! Of course, considering I do not watch porn, I really don't know if Brad actually fits the bill, but for some reason that stache made me think he's headed for some low-budget films. Of course, when visiting his page on IMDB, it looks like he's actually headed toward some pretty interesting films.

But alas, I had to do something way more light-hearted than the last post...

Here's one more shot of that facial hair:

Because Your Family Loves You and Other Reasons Not to Drink and Drive

I mentioned earlier that my oldest brother, Anthony, had been in a car accident, and several of my lovely commenters have asked how he's doing.

The answer would be: OK... now.

See, the knucklehead that used to play hide and seek with us as kids and who is an avid Rush fan and fantastic drummer and artist took up drinking quite a while ago - I'm thinking probably in his teens. Drugs were also a part of the mix. But the downward spiral really started when my dad died (by the way, sorry if this is sounding very Debbie Downer-ish). I don't care who you are or what you're beliefs are, but when something like that happens, it sure does help to have a solid rock to lean on. We all had a hard time, of course, but Anthony seemed to go to the things he'd always known to "take away the pain." Only this time, it was full force.

So here we are, 15 years later, and Anthony's life has followed a terrible pattern. Drink. Find a really bad girlfriend or wife. Have a baby. Drink. Get pissed off at girlfriend/wife and start hitting. Drink. Lose connection with baby. Drink. Play in a band. Drink. Do a little painting or cooking for a job. Drink. Drive while drinking. Almost run head-on into a cop. Get arrested. Lose license. Flee the state. Drink. Drink. Drink. Do a little drugs. Find a really bad girlfriend. Have a baby. Drink. Go back to original state. Spend over six months in jail. Get out on probation with strict rules not to drink and not to drive. Drink. Get pissed off at girlfriend. Drink. Drive girlfriend's car one rainy night with a 12-pack of beer in the back seat. Spin out of control until running head-on into a tree.

So that's how we got here. The night of the accident, he had to have emergency surgery on his stomach and colon, both of which had been ripped open during the crash. One leg is completely broken, and the other ankle has a small fracture. During his time in the hospital, they took the drainage tube out of his stomach too soon and gave him a little liquid. When his stomach swelled up to the size of a large balloon and he was in major pain, the doctors went back in and emptied about a gallon of bile out of his stomach and removed an "obstruction" from his colon. (Yeah, it's gross, but when you're stomach doesn't have anything to do, it freaks out.) When he got out of that surgery, he freaked out one night, pulling all of his IVs out. Apparently, he had way too much CO2 in his body, plus was taking Morphine, and on top of all that was going through withdrawal symptoms (Did I mention they did a tox-screen when he arrived at the hospital and they found alcohol and drugs in his system?). So off to ICU he went. They put him in a drug-induced coma and put restraints on his arms. After getting rid of the CO2, they discovered that his lungs had fluid in them (aka pneumonia apparently), and they drained those as well.

He's now awake, back in a normal room and on his way to recovery. He'll be going through rehab for the legs for a while and, according to my sister, looks like Frankenstein on the stomach. No laser surgery here, folks. They sliced him from his chest to his pelvic and then closed him back up with staples - yep, staples.

Once out of the hospital, who knows. Considering he violated his probation, he may be off to jail again. And in the midst of all this craziness, his even crazier girlfriend decided to ship the baby off to Florida with her sisters to "give him to her brother who has custody of her two girls." Yep, she's had two other babies, both of which were taken away from her. Don't get me started on the need for sterilization here...

So what's the moral to this story? Well, I think this goes beyond the ol' "Don't drink and drive." Do not think that a 12-pack, or a lifetime of 12-packs is going to take away the problem; it only makes it worse. It only causes more pain.

Chris and I went to visit him in the hospital in between the second surgery and the trip to ICU. He doesn't even remember us being there, but you better believe I'll be repeating what I said to him that night, even though I know it may go in one ear and out the other. I told him that he just keeps getting chances and that every time he does something he's not suppose to do, he gets caught. Other people get away with it, but not him. And I told him that was for a reason. Someone is looking out for him and making sure that he gets caught and gets another chance. But I also told him this may be the last chance he gets.

I didn't mention to him that I'm really pretty hurt because a) He's my brother - I love him and don't want to lose him, and b) he could have killed someone else. What if his little sister had been in town visiting that night and he had slammed into her car... with her in it... carrying little Logan. How would he feel then? Cause it could have been someone else's loved one instead of a tree that he hit. It could have been a woman carrying a baby, or someone's dad, or someone's son.

He knows he really screwed up. He keeps saying it. I just hope this time it sticks. He has sang the tune of redemption before, only to jump right back into this life. And I'm sure it's hard when it's all you've known. All of his friends drink. Shoot, half of his family drinks. So it's hard to believe that he'll turn around. But he just has to, and I think he's starting to figure out that there's only one way to get through all of this.

OK, my next post really needs to be light-hearted and funny to make up for this whopper. The people who comment on this blog on a regular basis are responsible in their drinking. But even if some random person wanders onto this blog and it causes them to put down that beer, good. It was worth it. Peace out!