Sex Sells?

So I came across this interesting story yesterday. You really should read the whole thing, but I used to write for a newspaper and I know most readers are lazy. So I'll sum it up for you:

Basically, Victoria's Secret is reconsidering its audience. They've been selling cute little pink polka-dot panties and camisoles now for about five or six years to appeal to the college-age girls and then have also launched the annual fashion show in recent years that includes more than gorgeous models in shiny bras and panties with huge wings attached:

I believe she's smart; don't you? Oh, and what's up with the dogs?

Anyhoo, they seem to have realized that most of the people who would be shopping in their stores are the ladies that fall somewhere else on the spectrum. You know, a little closer to REALITY!!!

Now, I don't know about you girls (and hear me out on this guys, too), I'm not sure I'd get a reaction I would like walking into our bedroom in little girl panties or wings. Sure, if I looked like the above model, I could probably wear whatever the hell I want. But on my best day, after months of working out and starving myself, I'm just not sure it could happen. And I admit, I have shied away from VS in recent years because of the pink. I'm not a pink girl. I might have two shirts that are pink. It just doesn't say sexy to me, unless it's paired with black or something. Apparently, the company did pretty well with the pink in appealing to the college crowd, which just makes me ask: Where did these girls get the money to buy anything from Victoria's Secret? I'm sure mom and dad would love to know that the allowance was going to some dorm room enticement!

This whole "getting back to our roots" campaign reminds me of the Dove ads from a few years ago where they used real, ordinary women to advertise their skin products. Maybe VS is trying to go a little more in that direction? Nah, I'm sure I'll still see the lovely Swedish things pounding down the runway in heels next year, the only things bouncing being, well, you know. But maybe they'll be donning real lingerie with a little lace here or a little satin there.

It would be great, too,  if I didn't have to pay $45 for a short satin nightgown. (This is why TJ Maxx gets my business. They have a great selection, by the way.) And a shout out to the 40s and up. Hey, they need sexy lingerie, too, as well as the not-so-small ladies. Gotta keep that heart rate up, right?

So, Vicki, thanks for deciding that maybe the REAL women of today want a sophisticated sexy, maybe even a little classy at times. Trash those pink polka dots and wings. And even though I'm not sure what "ultra-feminine" really means, let's try it!

For a humorous take on bras in general, visit Courtney's blog at Malfeasance.

One last tip - VS, just make things that will fit people like this:

Disney Doom

Dear Disney,

A long time ago, I used to love you. You gave me "Sleeping Beauty," "Snow White," "The Fox and the Hound," "The Jungle Book" and "Robin Hood." Even "Little Mermaid" and "Beauty and the Beast" weren't so bad.

But scratch that. It's 2008, and for the last 10 to 15 years, you have done nothing but disappoint me. 

Let me explain the steps within your downward spiral:

* You gave Britney Spears her start. How could you do this? How could you not recognize that Little Miss Trailer Trash would go back to her roots? Did you not see the future in her mother's eyes or just go by the names of each of the family members - Jamie, Lynn, Jamie Lynn and Britney? Sure Justin Timberlake and Christina Aguilera also began their careers in the Mickey Mouse Club, but so did Annette Funicello, and look where she ended up?

* Recently, you decided it would be a good idea to create your own story in a movie with "Enchanted." You were wrong! And how dare you take over the Oscars with those incessant sounds you call music. Kindly step away from the pen and paper and go back to the drawing board. You are animators, not writers. Other people's stories put to life is your forte. Please don't abuse us with even more of these:


What's with all the dolls? Are you into Voodoo, too?

* Now you've decided to make a movie that includes Donnie Osmond, Martin Lawrence and Raven Simone on the same set. Are you begging for rejection? Are you trying to go bankrupt? If so, this is a sure way!

* In my feeble attempt to find something worth watching on TV last night (aka flipping through the channels), I saw a small part of Extreme Makeover Home Edition (insert sobbing here). I have seen small bits of this show before but can't stand all the crying. I have noticed, however, that when they send the family off on vacation so they can build them a brand new house (thus, not actually "making over" a house), they always send them to... drumroll please... Disney World! That's right, folks. Apparently, the only vacation worth while is Disney World.

* Which brings me to my next point. Chris' brother and his wife, along with their 3-year-old and now 6-month-old, have gone to Disney World several years in a row now. My sister-in-law told me this past Christmas that Christmas in 2008 may see them at Disney World. That's right, no visit with the family for Christmas. No tradition. No overstuffing their faces with grandmothers' food. Nope, Disney World. I believe the reason was something about having their own family time (I guess you can't do that any other time of year?). So now, Disney, you have taken over the minds of families with small children. You have convinced them that your little "world" is where they need to be.

I hope you are proud of your accomplishments, Disney Dearest, cause in all honesty, I don't think Walt would be very proud of where his idea has gone. But just so you know, I'm on to you and I won't give in! I'll continue to watch the classics, but no more new anything from you! If I ever have children, it's Six Flags or bust. And my six or seven readers are now fully educated on your evil, wicked ways! Consider it ON!

Me and You, and You and Me

While strolling around on campus the other day (walking from one place to another, not just taking in the scenery in my spare time), I was watching students left and right, wondering what they were thinking, what they have been through, what their futures would be like and I wondered:

What if there's another little Chris wandering around this campus, or another Courtney, Mickey, Jacob, Kim, Brandon, Julie, etc.?

I mean, of course there will never be another Chris. I believe as much as human kind has in common, each of us are unique in our own way. But what if there's another guy who loves to run, who is mostly introverted yet somehow confident, who is a great student and who is right now questioning everything he ever heard growing up about God and church?

And what if there's a guy who came to this college mostly because of its beauty and grandeur with places to climb and be outside ALOT who is working in the print shop and who meets the love of his life, a little dancer who's funny as hell but is so quiet on the same hand. And this cute go-getter is friends with a photographer with great taste and a guy who could listen to REM all day? And then they all work with and befriend a tall quirky guy who looks a little like John Lennon and says the most bizarre things, and he's dating the only girl in the world who could love that bizarreness that much?

I just wondered if, every couple of years or so, this college campus is graced with the presence of those much like the students who have come before them. I'm sure people choose the same college for different reasons, but is there someone out there, much like you, who is choosing the same place to spend the next four years of their life for the same exact reason?

I would say that many of these people are much different after those four years than they were before leaving mom and dad behind and going into the unknown, and so, do we take that person with us? Are we still that person five, 10 or even 20 years later? Do we continue to change and evolve?

And if we visited our alma maters 20 or 30 years after we left, would we run into our former self in a current student? Are they working on the college newspaper staff? Are they taking trips together and talking about their crazy photographer professor?

And if I visited my alma mater years from now, would I run into a very bold, yet many times insecure girl who has a plan to make an impact on the world with her journalism? Will she refuse to join a sorority and be put in a box because, hell, she can make plenty of friends without some click? Will she work her ass off to make good grades, maintain scholarships and pay for school? Will she write to her grandfather, call her mom once every week and love her roommates like I did? Will she make lifelong friends that move to New York, France and England?

Maybe our own children (if we choose to have any) will fill these shoes a bit, taking a small amount of each of us with them as they start their own life. Although, I'd like the think my child will have his or her own path.

I guess seeing college student roaming around made me wonder all these things. Geez, you think any of them would have such a random thought?

What A Day

Sunday proved to be a not-so-relaxing day in our household. Chris was outside working on the door he built for the crawl space. I helped a bit but ended up spending most of the day baby sitting the dogs.

That's right, baby sitting.

It was crazy. The new one, Jewels, is not such a jewel. She's a sweetheart, really, but girl has got to start behaving or my blood pressure is going to be through the roof. I know a lot of it is my own temperament and how I am reacting to her. But time and time again, she tests my patience and my ability to remain calm.

Before we even got Jewels, Sadie had decided there is something to be staring at between the washing machine and the wall in the laundry room. Now, Chris and I have inspected time and time again and have found nothing but a wadded up rag stuffed in the corner that maybe Sadie is mistaking for an animal or stuffed animal. But it never moves and is actually acting as some insulation within a huge wall flaw in our house (I'd have to show you; it's hard to explain.). Either way, Sadie has convinced Jewels that there is something back there and they like to hover in the laundry room with the anticipation that something will come out. They have even barked at said nothingness a few times. I will apologize if a mouse comes crawling out of the laundry room, but until then, it's starting to get a little annoying and obsessive.

But that's not even the gist of the problem. Jewels came to us with a HUGE jumping problem. She can't stand to be looking at you and not have her paws on you at all times. On top of this, we can't put her in the fenced area in the back yard because she'll dig. Sadie used to dig but would actually dig up stuff. The kid found wire, a floor mat, glass, plastic pieces, toys, etc. At first I thought she was just bored but every time she did it, we'd find something. Jewels, however, is digging because she's so freakin' hyper she can't stand still or just run around and be satisfied. So yesterday, I caught her digging and punished her for it. Then about five minutes later, she starts digging again. I tell her "no" and she stops, only to start again about 10 minutes later. I gave her a kong with treats in it to occupy her. Then, with muddy paws, she starts jumping on me. I wasn't in great clothes, so no biggy, but she always seems to have dirty paws when I'm in dress pants for work. And she HAS to jump.

We try to clean her feet now before she gets through the door, and I've tried EVERYTHING to make her stop jumping. We've done the turn and walk away deal and the knee-then-in-the-chest thing. Telling her "off" or "no" only works sometimes. It's crazy!

Basically, after a weekend at home, my nerves are shot! And poor Chris isn't much better. He's afraid if we have kids he won't be able to control when he wants to spank them because of how he is with Jewels! So, the most calm, patient person I know is questioning his discipline abilities because of Cujo for a dog (she's not mean, just stupid)!

I'm sure this sounds mean. And I never really thought breed mattered so much with behavior until now. She is a pit bull/terrior mix and is not vicious at all - like many might think with the pit bull. But girl is dumb as a frickin' rock! With Sadie, you tell her something twice, and nine times out of ten, she's got it. Jewels has been told not to jump about 300 times now, and she still doesn't get it. But then yesterday, Sadie decided she didn't need to come when I called her. I swear if the brat is rubbing off on Sadie, I'm going to kick some ass!

We've already spent enough on the initial adoption fee, vet bill and "stuff" for her, but after another month or so, if she doesn't straighten up, we're going to some serious training. If that doesn't work, I might be finding another home for Miss Jewels. 

I want to love her, but a dog isn't suppose to stress you out! They are suppose to be the one constant that makes you feel better and relaxes you! I knew Sadie was close to perfect and this dog wouldn't compare, but I apparently have little to no tolerance for stupidity. Our German Shepherds growing up never had this much problem.

I'm at my wits end! HELP!

(this kind of sounds like a Dear Abby and I didn't mean for it to!)

Whew!

Well, it's been a while since I've been on here. Basically, I've been busier than a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest (stole that one from my brother-in-law). Sadly, most of my blog writing has been from work, and lately, there has been NO spare time at work. I have worked on about 20 projects in the past two weeks. I then either work out in the school's new recreational facility (be jealous, it's awesome), take the dogs for a walk, cook dinner, do laundry, clean other areas of the house and get ready for the next day.

Friday, Chris and I hung out with Chris' stepbrother and his wife on their way to Atlanta for a little getaway. Saturday, Chris and I took the dogs to the college for a walk to the reservoir and then just chilled out a bit. But Sunday it was back to the working when I had to get up at the Butt Crack of Dawn to drive down to Hotlanta for a conference. I work in the advancement office at the college, and the conference was geared toward the departments and offices that fall under the advancement category. So I spent three days at said conference with no time and no Internet access (without paying an arm and a leg) to write a blog.

So I have resorted to using Chris' laptop at home (even though it's not my beautiful MAC at work) to rejoin the blogosphere while watching American Idol and witnessing Paula Abdul telling EACH AND EVERY contestant that they are original, authentic and unique (insert finger in mouth now). And some girl just sang pretty well but kinda fucked up an awesome Blood, Sweat and Tears song. If you've never heard the song, it's called "Spinning Wheel" and you should promptly look it up.

I know many of you hate American Idol, but I just like anything having to do with music. Speaking of music, I heard an interview with Sheryl Crow on the radio the other day. I believe it was on NPR, so it was actually a real interview. Apparently, she was a backup singer for Michael Jackson during his Billy Jean days. Funny thing about Sheryl Crow… she can actually sing, but you wouldn't really know it by her own music. I heard her sing a duet with Tony Bennett once, and she sounded amazing. I guess "soaking up the sun" doesn't really say "I'm a bad-ass vocalist." But whatever, she's out there singing and I'm not.

One of these days, I'll have a truly interesting topic for others to read about on here, but for now, I suppose it's not much more than a stream of consciousness.

Random thoughts I've had this week:
Why is there rarely anything worth listening to on the radio?
Why don't more people just take the stairs instead of going up and down escalators?
Where do you go in a hotel when a tornado is coming?
Witnessing a guy hanging from the building across from where I am on the 17th floor as he washes windows was crazy!
I think Ryan Seacrest just tried to cover up a very gay comment he just made. Oh Ryan, we all know. You can come out!
Should I do design as freelance work on the side? Maybe not, cause then I'd REALLY have no time for blogging!
I am seriously considering a hybrid SUV as my next vehicle, which I hopefully won't need for another year and a half. I'm thinking Saturn's version is pretty cool and it's manufactured in a "green" plant. I like the idea of supporting that. Why SUV? I want to tote my dogs with me, even if I ever do have kids. I'm NOT saying I have to have an SUV if I have kids. To put it simply, some things just boil down to want, and I want one. But I would feel bad getting one that was so bad for the environment.

And that's all I've got.

Mad

Since Chris is yet again on another excursion to New York City for work (damn that company - just kidding, it's really a good company), I don't have any reason to stay in bed and cuddle away the morning. (Please don't throw up, that's just the way it goes, OK?) So at 7 a.m., I'm smackin' on my honey nut Cheerios and decide to turn on the tube only to find an episode of Mad About You.

After watching about five minutes, I remembered why I loved this show so much and wondered why it went off the air. I know, shows can't last forever. I mean, Friends was a great show but what were we going to do, watch Chandler and Monica move to the suburbs and Ross and Rachel try to work out their relationship? I just don't think it would have worked. But Mad About You doesn't get enough credit.

I see reruns of Friends on in the evening, as well as Everybody Loves Raymond and King of Queens. Shoot, even Saved by the Bell still comes on. But this is the first time in a long time I have seen a rerun of Mad About You. Paul Reiser and Helen Hunt are an amazing duo and may never be seen in better roles again. Now Helen was good in As Good as It Gets, but that was mostly Jack Nicholson. Oh, and I saw Pay It Forward not too long ago, and I liked her in the trashy mom role! But has anyone seen Paul in anything recently?

I certainly have not seen all the episodes of the show, but I just love the dialogue and the way it flows. I, of course, love the dog, Murray and his chasing the invisible mouse (which is later discovered to be a real mouse). Even the song for the show was great.

I'm not sure I like the ending of the show, but I would say that for a lot of shows. Like with Friends, the joining of Ross and Rachel at the end was inevitable but kind of forced. About two or three episodes before, they were both hung up on different people. It seemed like an "oh crap" moment on the writers' part. And for some reason, I just really don't like that show Everybody Loves Raymond. Sorry, but I don't love Raymond and especially hate his mom. That show should have ended with her demise - or maybe it did. I wouldn't know and am too lazy to look it up.

So, I may have to search for some Mad About You on DVD. OK, wasn't too lazy to look that up and it appears that Amazon has a complete collection. Awesome!

Also on my list of shows to see on DVD: Arrested Development (we've rented one season already; there's not many others), Friends (I would actually like to own the whole set), Northern Exposure, My So Called Life (I don't even know if this is good. I didn't get to watch it when it was on), Cheers and The Bugs Bunny and Tweety Show. I'm sure there are more, but I can't think of them all.

I suppose you could psycho-analyze someone based on what they watch. Well, not really, but it would be fun.

Any shows you would like to bring back or just buy on DVD?

A Bit of Randomness

This has been an interesting week. So many different things have happened or crossed my mind and I just want to share a few of them.

I'll first open with a Dear Abby column:

Dear Abby,

My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from the beginning and, when I confront him, he denies everything. What's worse, everyone knows that he cheats on me. It is so humiliating.
Also, since he lost his job six years ago, he hasn't even looked for a new one. All he does all day is smoke cigars, cruise around and shoot the bull with his buddies, while I have to work to pay the bills.

Since our daughter went away to college he doesn't even pretend to like me, and even hints that I may be a lesbian. What should I do?

Signed: Clueless

***

Dear Clueless:

Grow up and dump him. Good grief woman! You don't need him anymore! You're a senator from New York running for President of the United States. Act like one.

Oh, didn't see that one coming, did you? I thought it was hilarious.

On a more serious note, I also read a column of sorts written by the uncle of a lady I work with. This man, well into his 70s, is a political primary groupie, if you will. For the 2000 and 2004, and now for this year's, primary, he has traveled to New Hampshire in an attempt to actually meet and listen to each candidate, republican or democrat, and then make his decision on who to vote for based on these personal encounters. He described each crowd, each handshake, each comment. It was truly fascinating to me that someone from Tennessee would travel all the way to New Hampshire and listen to each candidate, making an educated, possibly uninfluenced (by the media) decision based on experience. Why don't we all do that? We rely on the media, which is completely biased in their reporting. I know I'm old school, but one of the biggest reasons I left newspaper was because I realized they are just a business, completely run by "the man" and not out on the mission of letting the reader decide any longer. But that's another post for another day...

But this year's primary has seemed to me like no other. Maybe it's just that I'm truly an adult now and I realize what is important and that I'm tired of a president who can't even give a speech without stumbling over it. But a few of the candidates seem to really have a solid foundation of intellectual thought behind their platforms. I have actually had kind of a random thought though. A few weeks ago, Chris and I were watching a PBS special on the assassination of John F. Kennedy and it occurred to me that we could possibly see such a scary scene again. I certainly hope not, but has anyone else realized that either a black man or a woman being elected president could equal a death trap. I'm sure these two candidates have considered this and are willing to take the risk. After all, it is a risk to be the president of this country every day, but with society still struggling with the acceptance of "minorities," I'm concerned.

Also on my list of random for the week: my mom has gone in with my sister and her husband to buy a time share. Yep, that's right girls and boys. A woman who "retired early" and just turned 62 years old, living on a social security income, is helping to pay for a time share that she will most likely never use. There's even more "what the..." involved in this, but I just can't go into it. When I called my brother and told him about it, his comment was this: "You know, I'm not trying to brag or anything, but I made over $60,000 this year and I would NOT buy a time share." Yeah, my sentiments exactly! I just can't care anymore, you know!

More randomness: Jewels, the new puppy, is doing pretty well. At first, Chris and I were seriously wondering if we had made the right decision. She has been more of a handful in the training area. She only peed twice the first week and hasn't had any other accidents like that so far (although she threw up for no apparent reason Saturday or Sunday), but her behavior has been crazy. She's pretty spastic and doesn't really pay attention to you when you are talking to her. But she seems to be starting to come around. We are planning to go to Chris' dad's house next weekend and will take Sadie but Jewels is going to stay home and be checked on by some students that have started a little dog-care business. I hate to leave her, but she is just not where she needs to be behavior-wise to be taking to someone else's house. We are taking both of them to St. George Island with us in May though, so hopefully she'll be ready!

Otherwise, Chris and I are going to the Derek Webb concert tonight, and I'm pumped. Plus, my brother and his awesome wife and little girl are coming to visit tomorrow, and I'm pretty pumped about that, too. One more bit of randomness, which I already noted on someone else's blog: I miss the Super Bowl gathering at the Johnston house. That needs to come back. Just sayin'...