Chris and my brother moved my mom's belongings this weekend from an apartment in Crandall, Georgia (the boonies), to a new apartment in Cleveland, Tennessee, where she used to live and where we grew up. For once in family history I did not help because I'm pregnant and a) shouldn't lift heavy objects and b) can't be breathing in the nicotine-filled air that resides wherever my mom goes.
I have ALWAYS been a big hater of the tar sticks. My mom and dad both smoked and didn't give a rat's you-know-what if the kids in the car or the house had to breath second-hand smoke. Mom even smoked while she was pregnant. It's a miracle we came out healthy, not to mention that I didn't have lung cancer as a six-year-old.
When my dad got sick with cancer (in his mouth), the doctor didn't even have to explain the root of the disease. And even after he died, did my mom finally put down the addiction? No, in fact, the smoking may have increased. She is pretty obsessed with it, which I guess would be the true definition of an addiction. When I turned 18 and refused to go purchase cigarettes for her one night, I awoke the next morning to a note telling me to leave the house. Do you think it's the cigarettes talking when a mother attempts to kick out her straight-A making, never had a drink, barely even kissed a boy, tell you where I am at all times, spend my Wednesday nights at church daughter? Maybe so.
About 95 percent of my family smokes. My opinion of the addiction? It's absolutely disgusting. After my school days of smelling like smoke and watching the walls at home turn yellow, I'd had enough. In college, I always did my laundry at school instead of taking it with me on the weekends I went home. You couldn't pay me a million dollars to smoke a cigarette.
So I felt really bad for the guys having to help her move yesterday. We forgot to bring Chris some clean clothes for when they got finished, so I bought him some at a local store. My sister-in-law's mom said they could probably roll up their shirts and smoke them when they got finished. It's ridiculous. And what's worse is that this habit of hers will most likely cause a riff again. I will not bring my child into her smoke-filled apartment, and she will not be allowed to smoke anywhere near my child. It's just something I have always felt strongly about. If she could just respect my opinion and make an exception every now and then, we'd be OK. But I have a bad feeling she'll just get all sensitive.
AAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!
8 comments:
I totally understand. My dad's an addict too, and I've done everything short of hog-tying to get him to stop. My mom finally made him give up smoking in the house when I was in middle school... but no one cared when I had pneumonia or bronchitis. The one science project I could ever get behind was the once that proved the diminished lung capacity of smokers (and second-hand smokers).
While I think those pregnant women who refuse to let their parent see the new child unless they give up smoking entirely are just itching for a fight, I think you are totally within your rights to refuse bringing your child into a smoke-filled home or allowing people to smoke around it.
I took a karate class in college... let me know if you need support.
It'd be better for all if she'd quit. Or even try to quit. But I think you have right to make rules for your child, especially concerning his or her health. So she'll either obey the rules, or not see the kid very often. Sad but simple.
I agree with the above comments -- you are well within your rights to not expose your child to toxic fumes. And that's why your kid won't ever have to deal with the crap you did as a child. Holy cow -- your mom really tried to kick you out of the house because you wouldn't buy her cigarettes? That is sad.
I just see no reason to smoke. It doesn't do anything for you other than suck up all your money and give you cancer. And I DEFINITELY agree that it's just not something parents should do.
Oh, for Pete's sake! I really hope your mom quits!
It is amazing how that odor lingers on furniture, even on something like a plastic shelf.
When we first stepped into her new apartment (brand new construction), all we could smell was new paint and carpet. By the time we finished carrying the furniture in, the new apartment reeked of cigarettes, even though no one had smoked in there yet.
You really can't expect an addict to give up the addiction, especially when the drug of choice is easy to acquire and legal, but you can expect them to respect you.
It is going to cause problems if you refuse take your child into her house because of the smoking, but I think you're entirely in the right to do so. She should be willing to admit it's not healthy for the baby and agree to coming to the baby and not smoking around the baby.
I'm just not sure someone who told you to move out for not buying her cigarettes is going to agree with me.
Good luck and I hope it goes better than you expect.
Oh do I remember that day! I swear, your mom never knew how wonderful you were...neither did my mom! You mom has known all along that you weren't going to bring your child around her cigarettes, she's just about to "experience" you not backing down though.
My grandmother keeps an ashtray on the porch for my aunt. It's accomodating, at least.
Post a Comment